Alone time; a busy, pregnant, part-time working, homeschooling mother & wife's necessity

It brings on a strange feeling when you’re not used to it. It happens to me very rarely these days, but now, as I type, I am alone. Courtney took the boys to soccer this morning, and they won’t be back for a couple of hours. Two hours all to myself.

I come from a very active family – sports, music, dinners, events, weekend family activities – and as a child, I cherished the moments I could spend being alone. Every day I would close the door to my room, if only for a minute in all the business, and get wrapped up in my own world. Usually I would draw or paint, but regularly also read, listen to Radio Luxemburg over the short wave, or – and here’s one of my secrets – practice my languages. I loved being able to say "Ik kom uit Zweden" with a native Dutch pronunciation. I would repeat words from American songs and movies over and over again, perfecting every syllable. I know this is a very odd interest, and at the time I had no intentions with it – it was simply something I enjoyed doing - but I must say it has come in handy a few times throughout my life since.

Anyway; the point here, is that I enjoyed being alone. As I’ve grown older, the moments of solitude have, especially since I started a family, grown more and more rare. All those years I worked full-time in Brussels, I had a lot of time doing things by myself, but I would rarely be alone; I would either be with colleagues, have lunch with friends, stand in line at the [insert daily errand here], or ride the train with thousands of strangers. Because I was gone all day every day, every other moment of the rest of my time would be spent with my family and friends.

Here in Egypt it’s different; Courtney & I have more time together naturally because neither one of us has a nine-to-five job (which in Belgium means a ‘leave-the-house-at-seven-be-home-after-six job’), and the boys are big enough that they don’t need me every minute of their lives, so Courtney and I can take turns bringing them to their activities. This leaves me a little bit of time now and then; a couple of hours every week, to be alone.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my family, and there’s nothing like spending time with them – this is why we’re so fortunate to be here; we have a lot of time together - but I still cherish a few moments now and then, where I’m able to just be – on my own.

Often, and certainly in the beginning when I wasn’t used to it, a wave of ‘shoulds’ would overwhelm me, and I would start trying to catch up on chores and other must-do’s that had accumulated. I would run errands, go shopping, type out our curriculum, hem pants, prepare meals or tests, clean out closets and sort cabinets, or fix toys.

If I have work, I’ll certainly do that, but lately I’ve figured out that if I don’t have editing work or an article waiting desperately to get sent in, I should use my special time for myself, and not try to “make a dent in the to-do pile,” as my friend calls it. This is much harder than it seems. Some of you might wonder what the big deal is, but I’m telling you; I deliberately have to keep myself from cleaning up the boys’ room, do the washing or sweep the living room carpet. It’s an effort!

So here I am, ignoring the toys on the floor and the dishes in the sink, simply enjoying my solitude… OK, I confess; I did put a load of laundry in and made the beds - but other than that; solitude. I’m enjoying my solitude.