As motivated as I am to homeschool our children, there are days when I’m ready to throw up my hands and say "That's it. I quit!" This morning the boys & I had a big argument that ended in tears and distress. It wasn't so much that they didn't want to do their work (although they didn't want that either), but that they started questioning our (Courtney & I) and their own motivation. Their friend downstairs started school, Kindergarten, this year, and he has been talking a lot about his “friends in school,” and how they play during recess. August told me today he didn’t want to homeschool anymore and that he wants to go to school with his friends. He told me he wouldn’t have to work as much as we do at home, and his description made me realize he thinks going to school would be like a giant play date. I tried to tell him that he’s wrong, showed him the third grade schedule, and pointed out that the kids in third grade at CAC come home every day, after a full seven hours at school, to an hour of homework. I told him kids in school don’t get to choose what subject they want to do when, how long to spend on each projects, and all those other things I love about homeschooling. I hadn’t slept however, barely (Abraham is teething big time), and it’s a bad time of the month for me to be confronted with anything, so I got angry and ended up expressing indifference and surrender. I reacted in a way I completely resent, and was immediately struck by terrible guilt. William was in tears begging me to give him a spelling test, and August said, bawling, that he had been thinking about running away. I sat down with both boys on my lap, apologized, and we talked about the things we had just said to each other. They surprised me with their mature understanding of what had just happened (that everyone had said things they didn't mean because they were angry). They told me they didn’t mean what they had said about not wanting to homeschool, and certainly the running away part. We totally made up. When Courtney came downstairs, they told him, with pride, that he had “just missed a really huge argument,” and that everything was all right now – that we had worked things out.
I certainly could have handled it much, much better, but I think this kind of meltdown is very typical after the holiday break, and I’m glad we got through it relatively unharmed. I will make a few adjustments in our schedule to lighten things up over the next couple of weeks, and hopefully we’ll have a smooth and prosperous semester.
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I didn't homeschool my son until grade 2. When we were talking to him about homeschooling, and that he wouldn't be returning to public school, I made two pie chart graphs of time allotments for play, school, homework, sleep, etc. It was convincing for him, and inspiring for me! I couldn't believe how little time there was for 'free play' when he was in public school. If either of yours are visual learners, and this comes up again, you might try it. Excel worked well. My son occasionally complains about not seeing his friends as much, but not often. We've homeschooled now for 1.5 years. I know you don't know me well, but when I read this I couldn't help but reply. I've had those situations come up before, and it's hard. Do remember though, what a wonderful learning experience that was for everyone. Sometimes if conflict never occurs, learning can't happen.
Oops! I mean 2 pie charts to compare the time. So one for HS and one for Public School... wasn't very clear there.
Jenni,
I've so been there! This week has held the best and worst of homeschooling. It is so good for the family to work these things out together, it is a lesson in itself. And, as you know, going to school can bring frustration and tears too. We all have bad days no matter what, and they seem to be at a premium after the holidays!
I admire anyone that Homeschools. I only had to do it for the first 6 months that we were here in Germany, then we put Zoe into the local German school (and she loved it from day one). I am forever in awe of how the kids respond when I have a temper tantrum... they just seem so honest and gorgeous... and what's more.. they are forgiving.
I homeschooled for a while (like, as in I was homeschooled) and it did, at times, seem like I didn't play with my friends as much...but then I remembered that I set my own schedule and was always done with my school work by noon so I could spend my afternoons doing whatever I wanted. And I still spent a lot of time playing with my friends. It rocked.
We love having August and William for friends! :)
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