Happy birthday to me!

Today is my birthday. I don’t like getting older, and I always feel a bit sad around my birthday. 15 years ago - on my 20th birthday - I had store bought cake at a hospital in Gothenburg while my dad was recovering from brain surgery. Exactly one year later, 14 years ago today, I was getting ready for his funeral. My birthday reminds me of all the tragedy that surrounded my father’s illness and death.

Even so, I couldn’t help but starting the day with a smile this morning as the boys, my two beautiful, happy boys, came running into our bedroom at a whopping 6:30 am yelling “Happy birthday, mama!” all the while showering me with kisses. “I am blessed, indeed, and life goes on” I thought, as I read the beautiful cards they had made me.

I don’t know that 35 is such a big deal, but I was so busy when I turned 30 that I didn’t really think about age, and now time seems to have passed by quickly. I can’t believe it has already been five years since I stood there on my 30th birthday, not able to see my own feet for the big pregnant belly (containing William as it turned out, who popped out a couple of weeks later), surrounded by family that had come all the way from Sweden to Belgium to celebrate Easter, and me, with us.

Tonight I will have the cake I just made - Michelle's fabulous chocolate cake - a glass of wine and surrounded by people I love, I will think about my dad and my family, how lucky we are to be here, how blessed my life is; and I will do my best to appreciate getting older as part of life.