Before we arrived in Cairo we received a lot of very good general advice from people already living here, as well as various written information provided by the university. We were also sent a book Cairo, the practical guide (published by the American University in Cairo Press) which has proven to be extremely useful in all kinds of situations here in Egypt. Among other valuable advice it contains a few specific "dos and don’ts", hints that have turned out to be particularly helpful in public situations.
A woman should not put a man in the awkward position of having to shake hands, as a woman’s touch must be washed away before prayer. Wait for him to make the first move. I even avoid physical contact with men in busy streets or the food isles in the grocery store, something that always is welcomed by a grateful smile.
When greeting an Egyptian, take time to address them with a salutation, smile, and inquiry of their family. There is no rush to jump immediately into business. Take a few minutes to be friendly before proceeding with your business. We have noticed that even taking this into it’s extreme is successful, and have made several friends by remembering their children’s names and inquiring about their parents. The first thing my housekeeper asked after our shipment had arrived from Belgium was to see pictures of my parents.
Unless you want to advertise that you have just had sex, don’t go out of the house with wet hair. Sometimes I see women with wet hair dropping off their kids at school, and for some reason it annoys me. "They should have read up on their cultural manners" I think, noticing the looks from the Egyptian guards that the woman with wet hair, as she gets into her 4x4, careful not to scratch her manicure, doesn’t , and I’m suppressing an urge to yell out “Hey lady! Didn’t you read the memo?! DON'T GO OUT WITH WET HAIR!”
My husband & I have also been told not to display affection or touch each other in public. Our habit of walking arm in arm has been difficult to break, but when we forget we are always reminded by the looks of people around us.
There are a lot of other customs and things one should pay attention to, especially in public, but because we were prepared for and ready to accept a society where everything is different from what we are used to, we haven’t experienced any major shock. Yet.
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2 comments:
maybe the Egyptians can get used to the idea of seeing people with wet hair, without necessarily thinking they just had sex. It's not always a good thing to adapt to every cultural habit.
I'm a western expat woman and have lived in Cairo now for more than 3 years. I used to be more concerned with things like not going outside with wet hair, but the fact of the matter is that I'm not that bothered by conforming to all customs. Some Egyptian men will think some pretty bad things about us - no matter how desperately we try to conform.
And, some customs I think are a bit too restrictive. Many pregnant Egyptian women do not leave the house after they start showing. I chose to continue with my daily life here walking the streets, doing the shopping, taking my son to school all the way to the end of my pregnancy. Many Egyptians (especially men) didn’t know how to act around me and I saw many heads turn so to as avoid looking at me.
For the record, I do try to not leave the house with wet hair, but I've got two small kids and so my schedule can be very tight. Leaving the house with blown dry hair is not always an option.
My feelings are that the expat and the Egyptian cultures here are quite distinct, separate entities. I believe a happy expat life is more about residing peacefully within the Egyptian culture and has very little to do with conforming to all Egyptian practices and beliefs.
Laura
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